A Tribute to my Bô'

Dads have a tremendous influence on their children, both sons and daughters. The depth of character and the life lived make a huge impact on their children. They are always watching and listening whether you realize it or not. Even when it doesn't seem like they are, they are! The result of a study by Glen Geher, Professor of Psychology at the State University of New York shows that people tend to have romantic relationships with people like that of our opposite-sex parent. This was true for me.

Bô' is the word for dad or father in the Northern Vietnamese dialect. Since my parents were from the North, that was what my siblings and I called our dad. He has been gone for over 10 years and some days I still miss him so much. This is a tribute to my Bô' for Father's Day for all the wonderful things I learned from him. 

He was extremely patient. If he didn't know something he needed to know, Bô' would spend the time to research and learn it. And he would keep reading until he figured it out. He had that kind of patience! I remember my elementary years doing homework with my siblings at night. All of us would spread out around a long table in the breezeway of my childhood home. When we didn't know something, we would ask Bô'. Those of you who have raised children through high school and have tried to help them with homework may remember that sometimes you didn't quite recall what you learned for a specific subject, or perhaps you didn't learn it at all. Well, it was the same with Bô'. For my elementary school work, that was easy. But for my siblings who were in high school, that took more time for him sometimes. Google wasn't around then - ha! He would look through a few books, or he would read their textbooks long into the night to try to figure it out. I don't remember what time I went to bed then, but I remember waking up after I had fallen asleep to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom, and I would see him up with the lamp on reading. Then the next day, I would see him explaining to whichever sibling it was that had the question. I don't have as much patience as my Bô', but I think I got my love of learning and research from him :)

Bô' had a heart of compassion. Sometimes he would come home from work while we were doing homework, and would produce a large bag or basket of fruit, snack items, or candy. When asked where he got them, he would tell us of how a shop owner or street vendor told him about their low sales of the day and still had goods left with a family to feed at home. Whether that was true or if they gave him a sob story, I do not know. Bô' had felt sorry for them and helped because he could.

In an earlier blogpost, I wrote about how I learned resiliency and adaptability from my parents. Both of them had been through a lot. They lived through the Communist regime in North Vietnam, fled that and escaped to South Vietnam. Sounds simple in text, but for them, it involved leaving their home behind, packing up only some of the most important things, along with three young daughters at the time, and heading some place they'd never been, unsure of what job they'd find, and where they'd live. They persevered, pressed on, and adapted and had a good life in South Vietnam. Then, when the Communists continued their invasion southward many many years later, we left our home behind and headed for the United States because the opportunity presented itself. Through their example and the help of others, we adapted, learned the language, assimilated, and acculturated. It was either sink or swim and we chose to swim!

Bô' was a practical and very content person. Because of this, he lived very simply, not because he was miserly but because he didn't believe in being frivolous. With this mindset, he was unimpressed with things that a lot of people are impressed with such as a fancy car, a large home, etc. His reaction when stepping into a 5000 sq ft house was the same as when he stepped into a 900 sq ft one -- no reaction whatsoever. If that was where people lived, that was where people lived.

There is a story my siblings told me that really highlights his contentment. Sometime while living in the North, Bô' saved a man's life. He was a priest dying of cholera. Bô' knew of a plant that had medicinal properties that could treat cholera. He somehow got it, chewed it up and put it in the man's mouth. The man recovered. Years later, after our family was established in the South, Bô' was somewhere one day when the priest saw him and recognized him. He came up to Bô', thanked him again for saving his life years before, and asked him how he was doing and if he had a job. Bô' replied that he had an engineering position and all was well. This man now had an important position with the government working in what was the equivalence of The White House. He told Bô' he could place him in any job he wanted. Bô' politely thanked him and declined saying his engineering job was sufficient.

There were many other positive character traits he possessed. I'm so thankful that my Bô' was so wonderful. But no earthly dad is perfect. There is only One who is and He is our Heavenly Father.