He Knows

As I write this, I am one week+ away from checking in to the hospital for lung surgery. If you are reading this blog post for the first time, and want to know what's going on with my lungs, read my blog titled My Rescue Story. 

People have asked how I felt about such a major surgery. In general, I am at peace about it. Sure, I have had moments where my thoughts get the better of me, or I get impatient with the wait. Medical advances merging with technology result in much better procedures and recovery time today compared to that of even just 10 years ago. While that's good to know, the main reason I am at peace is not because of that. Along with everything that happened in My Rescue Story, I want to share something that happened a little over a year ago that is another great reminder for me during this time.

One day, I started to feel run down. I thought I simply had a cold, but then the mild chills set in and the low-grade fever began. This went on for a few days. I've struggled with worse things before like lung infections. But for some reason, during those days, as I did my lung treatment and prayed, which is what I usually do, I just wondered if God cared about me.

What?!?!

I have never wondered about that before. I didn't know why I would think such a thing because He had shown up many times in the past, and been actively working in my life since my mid-20's! Just a side note here: Whenever you have thoughts that are contradictory to what the Scriptures say about God, His love, or His instructions, you need to STOP! Stop and recognize that it is from your invisible enemy, Satan, who is a thief and a liar and wants nothing more than to destroy your life. Then, combat the thought with God's Word and dismiss it (the thought) as false based on who He is, and all that the Lord has blessed you with in your life.

Well, hindsight is always 20/20, right? I did not do that at the time! However, God my Creator who knows everything about me is amazing! He sent a cute little bird right up to the kitchen window. I love birds! It stood there and just looked at me for a long while before flying off. The Lord then reminded me that He cares even for the sparrows, so how much more He cares for me, and reminded me of Matthew 10:29-31 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

I don't think that bird coming up to my kitchen window was a coincidence. Birds as with other animals go to where there's a food source or where they can create a habitat. Below my kitchen window are pavers that lead to the steps to our patio area with more pavers--no plants, no shrubs, and no grass and therefore no worms or bugs for birds. And we don't make it a habit of throwing food out the window for animals--haha :) The bird was God-sent!

Then as I spent most of the day on the couch with the heater next to me to warm me up from the chills, I was on Facebook for a little bit. I saw a friend posted a picture of a board she created. This was part of the board. (Thank you SS!)

Out of all the Facebook posts, many times of which I don't see because I'm not on it long enough, the Lord brought this into my view that day. It was exactly what I needed especially Psalm 112:7 right in the middle! I don't think it was a coincidence, but a God-incidence!

I think that fear got to me. I think I feared that those symptoms would then lead me down the path to a lung infection. I didn't realize this until our wonderful daughter-in-law asked me if that was what was going through my head. I realized then that's what it was. The following Sunday was the start of the series Faith Over Fear. The message was such a good reminder to me that fear is not an emotion but a spirit, and among other things said, I felt like God was speaking directly to me. That also was NOT a coincidence.

So back to how I feel about the surgery... While any major surgery has risks, I am not fearful. I choose not to live in fear because I know my God has this! He who created me saw my unformed body in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:13-16), and has numbered the hairs on my head, He knows about this surgery. I am His. He loves me and I hold onto Him and His Word for strength. I'm not perfect at it, but He gave me this verse a few years ago: Isaiah 43:1-2 "... this is what the Lord says--He who created you... he who formed you... 'Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned...'" The Lord is with us through challenges in life.

If you are struggling with something, I hope this has encouraged you. If you have a personal relationship with Jesus, look to Him. He knows what you are going through and He is there for you. Do you know Him? I would love to tell you about how much Jesus loves you.  Feel free to reach out to me if you don't or if you need some encouragement and prayers.