For most of us, we have read, heard of, or seen around us the effects of friends on children. A lot of times, what we hear about or observe is the negative influences of friends. So, we tend to think that children are not wise enough to discern character. However, over the years, I have read several articles which indicate that no matter the age, even as adults, choosing whom you spend a lot of time with is still important.
Why? Many articles indicate that we tend to pick up the mannerisms, attitudes, and behaviors of those with whom we spend the most time. It has been said that we pick up the habits of the five or six people we spend the most time with. Recently, I have read about the importance of the three people we greatly respect, communicate with, and spend time with. (Yes--I know that's a dangling participle! :)
Two years ago, for my birthday, our adult children purchased a subscription to StoryWorth for me which I absolutely loved. Each week, StoryWorth sent a question to answer on their platform. The questions might be easy and fun such as "What were your favorite subjects in school?" or they might be deeper like "Who influenced you the most growing up?" When you have completed all the questions, StoryWorth prints your book, and each question and answer becomes a chapter.
One of my favorite questions was the one mentioned above: Who influenced you the most growing up? Well, I can't say I'm done growing up--haha :) I edited the question to "Who had the most positive influence on you?" I had such a great time answering this question as I had to think of my value system, how I make or have made decisions, and who might have influenced me. It did not take me much time to think of the three most influential people in my life: my Dad (who is now in Heaven), my friend Mary, and my other friend Judi.
First, you can read about my wonderful father in my blog titled, A Tribute to My Bô'.
Second: Mary
Mary is a spunky lady, about my height, who doesn’t put up with anything that is not Truth. She is fun, loves the Lord and His Word, and she taught the ladies’ Bible study every single Tuesday morning years ago when we lived in another county. Mary is an amazing teacher and her lessons were full of life application and truth from the Bible. You could tell, she did her homework through God’s Word. Not only did she study it and teach it she also lived it and imparted much wisdom from her life experiences. She is such a positive influence on my life because she always points out the good things in me, she encourages me to spend time in God’s Word, to live by His Word, and to honor and respect my husband, even when I disagree with him, but not be a door mat, and to love my children. She believes in me and supported me spiritually and emotionally through some of my struggles in my 20s, and she always speaks truth into me and into the situation. Whatever the issue, she would compare and contrast with, “The Word says this, and here’s how this situation is.” Mary is like a mother figure to me and has helped shape who I am today.
Third: Judi
Judi lived just around the corner from us and attended the same church Mary and I did. From the time we lived near her then until now, Judi has always invested time in me and prayed for me. She cooked and brought food both times when I gave birth to our guys. She also would volunteer to babysit them so my husband and I could go on dates or attend Christian events. In all of those things, she gave me/us the gift of time. Any time I have questions about a situation, Judi always points me to either my husband or the Lord, instead of saying, “I think you should do this or you should do that.” She is always wise in her advice to me and in how she deals with people because she is in God’s Word daily and lives by it. Judi is amazing about not gossiping or complaining to me about other people or issues, even about people I do not know.
I am extremely thankful to the Lord for my wonderful father and these two awesome, Godly, loving women who have been like moms to me. The "experts" were correct when they say you pick up the attitudes and behaviors of the people you spend a lot of time with. I find myself saying, doing, and living the way my Dad lived, and the way these women do. Their thumbprints left on me reflect a large part of who I am today.
By the way...we've all heard that life can be short and we may experience losing someone in an unexpectedly short time. I thought about this a lot and decided to print out what I wrote in my StoryWorth about Mary and Judi, and mailed it to each of them. I wanted them to know how much they positively influenced me. I fully believe that if you appreciate someone for what they've done, you really need to tell them. I believe in highlighting the positive things in people, and when possible, doing it publicly. (Side note: We know that usually nice things are said at funerals about the deceased. Let's not wait until people are gone before we spotlight their qualities. Tell them now.)
Who are the three people who have positively influenced you? How have they influenced you? I would encourage you to tell them, and I would love to hear about them!
Ephesians 5:15 NIV Be careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise...
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