My Rescue Story

I recently had a birthday. I am thankful to have lived another year. Thankful not because I have gone around the sun one more time, but for more memories created with family and friends. Thankful for our wonderful sons & daughter-in-law who pray for me regularly. Thankful for my wonderful husband who prays for me daily, and who is so helpful with housework when I do not feel well. Thankful to have received news that we will be grandparents next year. Thankful to still be able to hike. Thankful to my 2 wonderful pulmonologists and their teams for taking care of me. Thankful for the people in my bronchiectasis support group. Thankful for those from the group with whom I have become friends who message me regularly. Thankful for having gone 2 1/2 years w/o needing IV antibiotics. Thankful for close friends I can cry on who would also pray for me when I struggle with something. I have grown spiritually, mentally, and emotionally with my struggles with pseudomonas over the last 5 years. For that, I am thankful. But there’s so much more!

What happened?

My bronchiectasis had been mild growing up. I rarely had lung infections but nothing that oral antibiotics couldn’t take care of. I have always had an active lifestyle: tennis team in high school, county-league volleyball team with Buddy & friends after we were married, waterskiing, and hiking. A major infection occurred around 2003-2005 with mycobacteria, a common bacteria found in the environment in dirt, mulch, etc., but after a handful of antibiotics daily over the course of one year, that resolved itself. That was a hiccup compared to what I was about to face which started in 2016. A boat ride with friends late in 2016 altered my daily activities to the present day. Within 48 hours after the boat ride, I began to feel unwell and it continued for quite some time. I thought whatever I got would work itself out of my system, but after some testing, I was diagnosed with having pseudomonas in my lungs––another very common bacteria that exists everywhere in the environment. Anyone can get it and most people have at one time or another a small amount without knowing it. After a few rounds of oral antibiotics, things seemed to be under control. Then I began feeling bad again, almost a year later in 2017. My doctor suggested IV antibiotics so I was admitted in-patient for two full weeks. The meds took care of it and I felt great! Little did I know that this was the start of several more times of being on IV antibiotics in the hospital and also at home over the next few years. It was also the start of lung care activities that take an hour from start to finish, twice a day, every day.

What have I learned over the last few years?

2017: I learned to accept my situation, and the increased time it took daily to care for my lungs. I didn’t like it at first, but then began to love it because it was a quiet time with the Lord. Just He & I. I think of the old hymn In the Garden. It starts with, “I come to the garden alone…” For me, it’s “I come to the place alone…” (The place where I do my lung care routines.)

2018: I learned to worship and connect with the heart of God through music during my lung care time, even during extreme physical pain at times.

2019: I learned that the Lord used the hospital stays as mission trips which I only saw in hindsight. What I didn’t know was that there were people whom the Lord had appointed to cross paths with me at the hospital each time I was there. These were some of the divine appointments over the last several years up to and including my last hospital stay in May 2021.

One night during a hospital stay, a respiratory therapist came into my room to provide my nebulizing treatment. She came right after I had written one of my devotionals. She asked what I was writing which was unusual but I didn’t mind her asking. I shared that I had been writing devotionals since the 1990s and it was one I just finished. She asked if she could read it. More unusualness, I thought! I disclosed that my writings mention God and if she didn’t care for spiritual content, she didn’t have to read it. She proceeded to ask if she could read it so I let her. When she finished, she shared that she felt empty in her life and didn't know its purpose and my devotional was exactly what she needed to read! She had many more questions which led to me sharing about my life, life questions I had in my late teens and early 20s which were similar to hers, and about my relationship with Jesus.

During another in-patient admission, a nurse shared with me the heartache of a situation with her husband. Yet, another nurse poured out her heart to me because their daughter was getting in trouble and asked me to pray for her. What?!? How did she even know I was a Christian or that I would pray for her? I did and she thanked me profusely. There were others as well.

2020: … that the Lord is more present in deepest darkest times of physical pain, and He answers the prayers of those who are His. At one point, I had been coughing so much that my rib cartilage was inflamed––a condition called costochondritis, which I experienced before. Usually, it would take weeks for the inflammation to be gone. During this particular time, I was hurting so much each time I coughed that I was in tears. While I had never been stabbed before, if I could imagine anything close to it, it would have been the pain I felt having costochondritis! I texted some close friends whom I knew were prayer warriors to pray for me. (I am grateful for you, friends!) One by one they replied saying they were praying. The pain did not let up and in desperation, I cried out to the Lord that these friends (and I named each one) were (still are) His daughters, and they were righteous because they were “covered” by Jesus’ blood, and to please answer their prayers for me. Guess what? The rib pain subsided within 45 minutes and did not return! 

2021: … that God is always at work even when things seem out of control. In the early part of 2021, I was not feeling well for a long time. Finally, I had an appointment to see my pulmonologist who suggested a bronchoscopy was in order so they could see the inside of my lungs. Day 1: I went in for the bronchoscopy. Usually, this was quick—-about an hour from start to finish and I would be able to go home. A little situation came up which necessitated an overnight stay for observation. Day 2: The next day I was informed the pseudomonas “count” was really high so I should be on IV antibiotics. Here we go again! So I had to stay for the PICC line procedure but should be able to go home after that. They started me on IV antibiotics and told me I would be released the next day. Noooooo! Day 3: They informed me they were working on getting meds ordered, and a home health nurse lined up so they could release me—-probably by noon. Early afternoon came, they were able to order meds, but could not find a home health nurse available to meet me at my house (due to Covid needs everywhere) so I could not be released that day. I was so frustrated! I was already in 2 days longer than originally planned and I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to cry!! Shortly after that, the Jewish chaplain came to visit me. He was really nice with a calming presence and had visited me before during prior stays. After some cordial greetings and small talk, he asked how I was doing and what helped me with my struggles with my bronchiectasis. I told him it was my faith in Jesus that sustained me. Long story short, I ended up sharing my whole testimony about how I entered into a relationship with Jesus. There was a nurse in the room doing paperwork on the computer, who heard the whole thing. After the chaplain left, she asked me some questions and I was able to share with her some more. She finished up the paperwork and left the room. All of a sudden, like a lightbulb had come on, it dawned on me why the Lord kept me there for 2 extra days—-it was for the sharing of my faith to those 2 people! Whereas I was so frustrated before because I wanted to go home, with that realization, a huge burst of joy filled my soul! The Lord was orchestrating all this the whole time. The next day (Day 4) everything fell into place and they were able to release me.

2022... experienced God showing up when I needed Him; I became more accepting of my situation and was able to laugh at some things.

2023… God defies science! How? Bacteria thrive in moist damp places and inside the body is a good place because it’s warm and moist. However, the last few lab results showed a reduction in the bacteria “count.” The latest result which I am so happy to share is that it is very low. While science says that bacteria once in a comfortable environment for a long time create a colony, God showed up and destroyed it!

Verses the Lord gave me that sustained me and gave me life over these last few years:

1) Isaiah 43:2 NASB When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.

2) Isaiah 41:10 NASB Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Songs that helped me worship, to feel strengthened and victorious through the tough spots:

I Am Not Alone (Kari Jobe)

No Longer Slaves (Bethel Music)

I Surrender (Hillsong)

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail by Hillsong)

Trust in You (Lauren Daigle)

So Will I (100 Bilion X by Hillsong United)

And this year, within the last couple of months, He gave me Rescue Story by Zach Williams.

For all of the above and for so many other big things and little things, I am thankful, most importantly to my Lord, God, & Savior Jesus who loves me and has been with me. He is my rescue story!

Not everyone struggles with health conditions and physical pain, but if you are struggling with a hurt from long ago, or a hurt as fresh as today, the Lord can be with you if you ask Him. The Lord can provide you the peace that defies the circumstance. The Lord can intersect your life with others whom you could bless, even amidst tough times.

The 3 Thumbprints

For most of us, we have read, heard of, or seen around us the effects of friends on children. A lot of times, what we hear about or observe is the negative influences of friends. So, we tend to think that children are not wise enough to discern character. However, over the years, I have read several articles which indicate that no matter the age, even as adults, choosing whom you spend a lot of time with is still important.

Why? Many articles indicate that we tend to pick up the mannerisms, attitudes, and behaviors of those with whom we spend the most time. It has been said that we pick up the habits of the five or six people we spend the most time with. Recently, I have read about the importance of the three people we greatly respect, communicate with, and spend time with. (Yes--I know that's a dangling participle! :)

Two years ago, for my birthday, our adult children purchased a subscription to StoryWorth for me which I absolutely loved. Each week, StoryWorth sent a question to answer on their platform. The questions might be easy and fun such as "What were your favorite subjects in school?" or they might be deeper like "Who influenced you the most growing up?" When you have completed all the questions, StoryWorth prints your book, and each question and answer becomes a chapter.

One of my favorite questions was the one mentioned above: Who influenced you the most growing up? Well, I can't say I'm done growing up--haha :) I edited the question to "Who had the most positive influence on you?" I had such a great time answering this question as I had to think of my value system, how I make or have made decisions, and who might have influenced me. It did not take me much time to think of the three most influential people in my life: my Dad (who is now in Heaven), my friend Mary, and my other friend Judi. 

First, you can read about my wonderful father in my blog titled, A Tribute to My Bô'.

Second: Mary

Mary is a spunky lady, about my height, who doesn’t put up with anything that is not Truth. She is fun, loves the Lord and His Word, and she taught the ladies’ Bible study every single Tuesday morning years ago when we lived in another county. Mary is an amazing teacher and her lessons were full of life application and truth from the Bible. You could tell, she did her homework through God’s Word. Not only did she study it and teach it she also lived it and imparted much wisdom from her life experiences. She is such a positive influence on my life because she always points out the good things in me, she encourages me to spend time in God’s Word, to live by His Word, and to honor and respect my husband, even when I disagree with him, but not be a door mat, and to love my children. She believes in me and supported me spiritually and emotionally through some of my struggles in my 20s, and she always speaks truth into me and into the situation. Whatever the issue, she would compare and contrast with, “The Word says this, and here’s how this situation is.” Mary is like a mother figure to me and has helped shape who I am today.

Third: Judi

Judi lived just around the corner from us and attended the same church Mary and I did. From the time we lived near her then until now, Judi has always invested time in me and prayed for me. She cooked and brought food both times when I gave birth to our guys. She also would volunteer to babysit them so my husband and I could go on dates or attend Christian events. In all of those things, she gave me/us the gift of time. Any time I have questions about a situation, Judi always points me to either my husband or the Lord, instead of saying, “I think you should do this or you should do that.” She is always wise in her advice to me and in how she deals with people because she is in God’s Word daily and lives by it. Judi is amazing about not gossiping or complaining to me about other people or issues, even about people I do not know.

I am extremely thankful to the Lord for my wonderful father and these two awesome, Godly, loving women who have been like moms to me. The "experts" were correct when they say you pick up the attitudes and behaviors of the people you spend a lot of time with. I find myself saying, doing, and living the way my Dad lived, and the way these women do. Their thumbprints left on me reflect a large part of who I am today.

By the way...we've all heard that life can be short and we may experience losing someone in an unexpectedly short time. I thought about this a lot and decided to print out what I wrote in my StoryWorth about Mary and Judi, and mailed it to each of them. I wanted them to know how much they positively influenced me. I fully believe that if you appreciate someone for what they've done, you really need to tell them. I believe in highlighting the positive things in people, and when possible, doing it publicly. (Side note: We know that usually nice things are said at funerals about the deceased. Let's not wait until people are gone before we spotlight their qualities. Tell them now.)

Who are the three people who have positively influenced you? How have they influenced you? I would encourage you to tell them, and I would love to hear about them!

Ephesians 5:15 NIV Be careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise...

References:

The Power of Peers

5 Reasons You are Who You Hang Out With

How your friends change your habits - for better and worse

Bull Doe Doze

Years ago, we lived in a house that backed up to a wooded area, and beyond that was a pretty two-lane road that was tree-lined. We got to enjoy the wooded area beyond our backyard for a limited time before construction work started since the county was turning the two-lane road into a parkway. The workers cleared the trees and then the big machinery moved in: earthmovers, backhoes, and bulldozers.

Our oldest was about one-and-a-half years old at the time. He was fascinated with the construction equipment and would stand at the glass sliding door for a long time looking out beyond the yard into the distance to the work being done. As the bulldozer worked away, I pointed to it and said, "That is a bulldozer. Can you say bulldozer?" At first, his cute one-year-old voice said, "Bull-bull." After a few weeks, with more help from me, he would say, "Bull doe doze."

If you've ever heard a baby or toddler that you haven't spent much time with, you would have to admit their words are hard to understand. Because I was with our little one all day long, day in and day out, I knew all his words. I was able to "interpret" for my husband Buddy when he came home from work what our son was saying, even though he was (and still is) a wonderful connected dad in the lives of our sons and daughter-in-law.

Pivot over to prayer... I don't know about you but sometimes when I pray, I am at a loss as to what to pray. I have lifted up a friend in prayer who has lost a loved one. I was so saddened for the friend because I have experienced the same loss and yet I find myself at a loss for words not knowing precisely what to say to the Lord. Sure, I asked Him to comfort and provide peace for my friend and the family. But my spirit seemed to want to pray for more that I could not express in words. Or sometimes I would be praying for something, and I just could not find the right words to say. I would start telling God something, but then I find myself saying to Him, "Scratch that. That's not what I meant. There's more. Ummm..." I would try again, and yet wrestle in my spirit with the words formed from my thoughts because they couldn't fully describe my feelings and what I wanted to pray about.

Has that ever happened to you? Or is it just Yours Truly? :) At times like this, I rely on God's Holy Spirit. You see, His Word says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:26-28 NIV)

There's so much more in that entire chapter 8, but those verses provided me with the confidence that when I'm struggling with what I want to pray about but my words may sound like "bull doe doze," God's Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf. Because the Holy Spirit came to live in me when I accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of my life, He knows my spirit and interprets my bull-doe-doze prayers to God the Father. The Holy Spirit can help you too if you let Him.

Next weekend, people around the world will be celebrating Easter. Why? Because Jesus died on the cross for ALL of humankind's wrongdoings (sins) and by doing so gave us forgiveness and eternal life if we believe in Him. Not only that but we also have peace, purpose, and joy in our short time here. It is a completely free gift that humankind cannot earn by doing good. All you have to do is accept it. And just like any gift, it's not yours if you don't accept it and use it.

Here's an example for some traction. Someone tells you they are giving you their car; a very nice car. (This happened to us once--a beautiful red Jeep Cherokee.) All you have to do is accept it and pick it up. Totally free. Is it yours if you don't believe it, pick it up, and use it? Not if you don't accept and take ownership, right? It is the same way with Jesus.

Have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life? Are you in tune with His Holy Spirit living in you so that not only does He interpret your bull doe doze prayers, but He is with you through every situation, and guides and directs your steps in life? Perhaps your relationship with God is but a memory from long ago. It's never too late to return to Him and ask Him to be back and involved in your life, as you live for Him day by day, moment by moment.

John 3:16 NIV For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works so that no one can boast.

 

Live Like That

It's the end of January. How is your New Year's resolution coming along? Yay, you if you are making progress towards it! If you have fizzled out in the process, I'd say try again or break it down into smaller chunks so you feel victorious after achieving one small chunk at a time.

Some people set goals for the new year sometime in December. Others set goals sometime in early January. I have a friend who used to go on a trip alone. She would check in to a hotel, an Airbnb, or a spiritual retreat center somewhere surrounded by as much nature as possible. She would keep the TV and phone off and be outside in nature to talk to God, to reflect, and to listen. And that is how she would set goals.

As for me, I like to spend a lot of time reflecting. I don't do it in one sitting or even in one day, but over a few weeks. I ponder on a lot of things from the previous year, but also over the last several years. I try to see where and how the Lord has worked in my life. I don't purposely think about it all the time, but it's one of those things where I also do it in my subconscious. Hard to explain, but it's kind of like having your apps running in the background on your phone or a tab opened on your computer. It's there ready for you to click on it and pick up where you left off. That's the best way I can think of right now to describe my way of reflecting :)

Looking back over this last year, and the last several years, I could see how the Lord has been with me, has taken care of me, and has put me in places where I did not want to be. Of course, you know the saying, "Hindsight is always 2020." I cannot miss but see how He wanted to accomplish His will in those hard places and one of those is for my spiritual growth. Stop right there. I want you to know I'm no more special than you. Spiritual growth is His will for all of us. It is His will for you, and it is His will for me. A lot of times, growth comes through hard times, right? Even as hard as it was at times, I would not want to go back or change it for anything. Sure, my fleshly human self says, "Yes!", but my soul tells me, "Fleshly self, you know better than that."

So back to goal setting, some people have really elaborate plans. As for me, I didn't have a list or even just the one thing I wanted to accomplish this year. Maybe I have a boring life--haha--I don't know. However, recently as I was walking on the treadmill inside because the weather was cruddy outside, I was listening to songs on Spotify when this one came up. I hadn't heard it in a long time. This song was written I think about 10 years ago. The words really resonated in my soul for days and I realized I found my goals, not just for 2023, but for life.

Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs
Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of those
Was my worship more than just a song

(Chorus)
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You
If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back
I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true
People pass
And even if they don't know my name
Is there evidence that I've been changed
When they see me, do they see You

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
I want to show the world the love You gave for me
I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

(Chorus)

At the beginning of this song, the lyrics say, "Sometimes I think, what will people say of me when I'm only just a memory when I'm home where my soul belongs." Those are great lines! As for me, do you know what I want to hear when "I'm home where my soul belongs"? I hope to hear my Creator say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" Matthew 25:21a