The Thread that Stitches Together

I love this time of year when the leaves change into the brightest shades of yellow, orange, and red. And the temperature drops at night. Time to turn on the heat and throw blankets or quilts on the bed! Personally, I love quilts. There is something so homey about quilts. The ones I love most are the hand-stitched antique quilts. My mind always wanders when I hold a vintage quilt. Who made it? Under what circumstance was the quilt made? Did the fabric pieces come from old garments of different people? What were their lives like? Who did the quilt cover? On and on the questions come to my mind.

The first couple of years of our marriage, my husband and I lived in the mid-West. My best friend there was a quilter and created the most beautiful quilts! I spent a lot of time at her house hanging out while she worked. She told me about the different types of quilts, but she focused on pieced or patchwork quilts which consist of squares and triangles. Every design was carefully thought out, and planned, and every piece of fabric, every color was carefully positioned. It took a long time, but when she was finished – wow! – the overall design of the quilt was just absolutely stunning! 

In the 2 years spent with her before we moved, I realized some things. When we examine just one square or triangle in isolation, there is nothing meaningful about it by itself. It may be of one color or it may be part of a larger pattern cut up. Nevertheless, when all the pieces are stitched together and we stand back to look at the overall quilt, everything goes together to tell a story or form some kind of pattern or image. With or without a pattern, every quilt is created for a specific purpose – to provide warmth. Well, there are decorative wall quilts too, but right now I'm thinking about a bed quilt covering. 

The events in our lives are so much like the squares and triangles on a quilt, I think. Some experiences are like the pieces that don't have any particular design, maybe even drab. Other events are brighter, happier, and with some pattern or sense. And yet, other circumstances happen beyond our control, and those feel like the fabric pieces with a print of something bigger – cut up. When we look at each situation, we sometimes wonder, ‘What is the purpose of this?’ Nevertheless, I firmly believe God uses all our situations, events, feelings, and experiences and stitches them together to make up something for which we can help others, and glorify Him, our Creator.

Some of us may ask, “What beauty is there in what I went through?” Dearest reader, if you have been hurt or are going through a difficult time right now, I am truly sad for you. I know hurt. I know loss. I know disappointment. Yet, I want to encourage you to give your pain, anger, sadness, and all your situations to the Lord Jesus, and allow Him to piece them together to create a quilt that will provide warmth for others and peace in your heart which will shine through you and glorify Him.

How do we provide warmth for others with our experiences? When we sympathize or empathize with others. Each time we comfort those who are struggling with encouraging words, we provide warmth for their soul. When we smile at someone or love others genuinely, we warm their hearts. There is something about meaningful physical touch that can brighten one’s countenance as well. A gentle touch to someone's shoulder or arm can say, “I understand." or "I am here for you.” and does wonders. I know because I've been on the receiving end of such kindness.

I want to end with a thought. As I mentioned earlier, just as there are pieces of fabric in a quilt that are plain or monotone, they serve a purpose in the overall design of the quilt. There may be patches in our lives that are like that and we wonder about the purpose. There is a purpose in God's overall design. A quilt is held together by thread carefully stitched by its creator. When we seek the Lord in all areas of our lives, He is the thread that stitches together the joyful events as well as the times of struggle, holding us together. We look at a beautiful or unique quilt and we praise the creator of the quilt – the quilter – for their work and design, not for one particular square or triangle, but for the overall quilt. We can share about the beautiful areas of our lives but also about how He helped us worked through the gray times. And this my friend, glorifies Him – our Creator.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

Will You be more Linked In?

When it was time for us to have kids, I took a break from the professional world to be a stay-at-home mom. After many years passed, and it was time to return to the workplace, I decided to join LinkedIn. If you are not familiar with LinkedIn, it is an online professional platform for professional networking and career development. It's like Facebook in that you "connect" with others, but unlike Facebook, you don't post everyday personal things like how you visited a coffee shop and loved it. Rather, people post mainly work-related things: professional articles, ideas, concepts, tech, job openings, training, etc. For example, if you worked for a pharmaceutical company, you could share the company blog about a recent breakthrough in medicine your company developed for XYZ condition. You could also set your status as seeking work so people in your network or other companies on LinkedIn could find you and see your work history and skills.

Some time ago, I was on LinkedIn and saw that one of my connections "liked" this post. Out of curiosity, I read it. Very sobering! Don't just look at the picture and move on. Study the picture, read the post slowly, (mainly the top part to the end of the highlight), and then look at the picture again. Let the words and the meaning of this post sink in.

Remember that LinkedIn is a professional platform. The LinkedIn member (whose name I cropped) even acknowledged that it was not "professional" but it was real, and shared what she learned by being on leave. And look at the number of people who reacted to it, and the number of people who made comments.

Work. We all have it: inside the home, outside the home, paid, volunteer. We all have work. Work is a good thing. Yet, sometimes, we focus so much on it that we forget about life itself. We forget to enjoy life. We forget to relax. We forget that people and relationships matter, not to mention our health. Don't get me wrong -- I'm a huge advocate for working hard! And, I'm not talking about work that might include different times of the year when work gets busier because of cycles and such. But there's a fine line between working hard and working too much where there is no work-life balance.

That sink full of dishes can wait, but your child wanting you to read him a book isn't going to last forever. That sales call can wait until after your child's event is over. That project looks fine for tomorrow's presentation. You've worked on it for a whole week already. Leave it physically and mentally, and spend time with your spouse or go do something that is beneficial for you mentally or physically. That kitchen floor is clean enough. You don't eat on it! And so on, and so forth. You get the idea.

"But you don't understand." some have said to me, "I work long hours so I can have a better chance at the next promotion because I want to provide for my kids what I didn't have." I'm all for giving and receiving promotions. I've been on both ends. But you know what? If you work hard to your best ability and get things done correctly and in a timely manner, your manager will know. And God knows. Besides, how do you know that what you didn't have and wanted is what your child needs and wants? For example, you wished you could have worn brand name clothes when you were growing up. Your children, however, are into the outdoors and could care less about brands. Yet you continue to buy all these brands and feel great that you are providing for them what you didn't have. But, is it what they need? Does a 3-year-old toddler know or care about the difference between Nike and off-brand, or that little toy car which they vroom up and down the sandbox and crash into other objects is made by a well-known toy company or came from the dollar store? The other thing I've heard is, "I work long hours so my wife could have a bigger house." Honestly, I've met women who live in huge houses and were miserable because their husbands were working long hours instead of being at their kids activities or being home with them. 

The majority of people I talk to don't recall wishing their parents decorated their home nicer, bought them more things, or cleaned the windows more. Rather, they recall memorable activities of their childhood. Activities like time at the park, playing baseball in the yard, dirt biking, baking with mom or grandparents, getting a smoothie with dad, playing in the creek catching crawfish (btw, why is it pronounced like CRAY-fish, when the word ends in a "w" like draw?). 

The point is don't let work (wherever that is -- inside the home or outside the home) overtake your time, your body, and your mind so much that you don't have time to spend time with people. Or that your mind is so busy with work that you can't be present with the people you are with. You are there but you are "not there". Or that you are too busy to cook healthy meals, and exercise, that your health suffers. The best present you can give your family and friends is to be present -- fully present.

So, what about that friend or relative whom you know could use some encouragement? Or the friend you haven't seen in a while. What about your child who is feeling like she is not fitting in because her friends are on Tik Tok or Instagram and posting things that are against her values? Texting is easy and fast but nothing beats getting an actual phone call or a get-together in person for a one-on-one time. It doesn't have to be expensive. Nothing needs to be costly. Get out a deck of cards or board game. Relax together in the backyard or front porch over some tea, juice, or coffee. I am all about low-maintenance get-togethers. 

I know it's not the new year when people usually set resolutions or goals. But can I encourage you to set a goal to have more work-life balance? If you already have it, I applaud you and want to encourage you to link in (connect) with people more? Link in more than just a text. Get together or do a video call. Yes, I know sometimes it's inconvenient, but it's so worth it. Tell people you love them and pray for them. Or, better yet pray with them. We all could use prayers, right? Can I give you an example? This last Sunday at church, after the service was over, the guy in front of me whom we've met at a few church events turned around to leave and was facing me. I asked how his week was. His face was a little bit distraught and he said it was a tough week at work, and his girlfriend had a visitor that was "hard to deal with." So I said, "I'm sorry. I will pray for you guys." and started to leave. But the Lord prompted me to pray over him. So I asked him just that and he said yes. I put my hand on his shoulder and prayed for both him and his girlfriend and as I prayed, I felt his shoulder relaxed. Afterward, his face looked so much more calm, and he thanked me profusely. A lot more people need encouragement than you might think. Link in regularly. Link in with genuine relationships. Truly care about people for who they are and not just people who might benefit you personally or with your job, such as with a bonus, a transaction, or worse yet, as a step to the next promotion. 

Someone once said that no one on their deathbed wished they attended one more meeting, closed one more deal, or cleaned the sink one more time. Instead, they think of the relationships in their lifetime -- what was or what could have been. Will you be more linked in this year?

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for human bosses.

James 4:13-14 ESV Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

What's in the Pantry?

 This morning, as I was taking inventory of our pantry so I could determine what needs to go on the grocery list, some fun memories and some thoughts came across my mind.       

My husband and I have two wonderful sons who are now adults and out of the house. I remembered full well when they were teens though how much they could eat! If you have teenage boys, you know what I'm talking about, especially if they are in sports which ours were. Thank goodness for stores with club membership where items are sold in large quantities so we could buy large quantities and have them last more than a week.

One day when the guys were young, as I was taking inventory of what was in the pantry, just like I am doing today to create a grocery list, I discovered a caramel apple kit that was two years old! Yuck! Needless to say, I threw it out. That was not the norm as I restocked our pantry regularly. Besides the caramel kit, I must say there were usually no old items in my pantry. With the two boys’ ferocious appetite, food did not have a chance to get old as inventory gets depleted and then replenished pretty quickly! I have to smile and say that at the time, the boys would sometimes fuss at me because everything I bought, I tried to buy the healthy version. Even chips were the all-natural kind made with corn flour, flax seeds, evaporated cane juice, and sea salt – all natural ingredients one can read! Mind you, when they were younger (15+ years ago), there weren't as many healthy choices as there are today. A funny story: One day they saw a certain type of pastry that was labeled organic and asked if they could get them to eat for breakfast. I declined their request. And they pursued with, "But mom, it said 'organic' on the box!" I still did not get it explaining that basically it was just white flour and sugar and they needed more than that for breakfast. And no, I didn't just feed them alfalfa sprouts - haha :)

Another thought I had this morning as I was doing inventory for the grocery list was about "the pantry" of my heart -- all the different things I store in it. I get busy or into the routines of daily life that I do not stop and think about what is in my heart often, and if anything needed to be thrown out. Why am I annoyed with certain situations? Why am I irritated? Jesus said that the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Luke 6:45) No one stores up anger or disappointment on purpose just like no one intentionally keeps expired food like my caramel kit around. But when situations make us upset and we do not deal with them, they stay in our hearts and go bad like the caramel kit. Worse than that kit is something most of us have experienced in our refrigerators – forgotten food that goes moldy! Why? Because it was tucked in the back and forgotten about. If you eat the rotten moldy food, you could get very sick, or at the very least, feel some uncomfortable side effects. Well, what overflows out of our hearts when we have unresolved emotions or circumstances can often have unpleasant effects on those around us. At the very least, they feel uncomfortable, but sometimes we can hurt others based on what we say.

Let us go through the pantry of our hearts regularly, myself included. What's stuck in the back and forgotten about? Let us work on getting rid of anger, hurts, and disappointments so nothing has a chance to rot. Let us "restock" with things that will revive our souls, lift our spirits, and work on these things tucked in the back. Sometimes when I feel unsettled in my spirit, and before I figure out what is wrong, I turn to God’s Word which always nourishes and soothes my soul, along with praise songs.

We each have different ways to replenish our soul and spirit. If you do not know, explore different ways until you find one that connects your soul to the heart of God. If being in God’s creation, connects you to Him, find a quiet park or body of water. For some, worship and connection come with music. Yet, others may find their quiet time by reading His word. There are numerous ways and each is unique because God has made each of us unique.

I am a visual learner. What works for me sometimes is to close my eyes and visualize myself curled up on my Heavenly Father’s lap. He is my Heavenly Daddy who loves me and constantly wants a close relationship with me, so I have no fear about what I say to or ask of Him. I tell Him my hurt and pain like a child coming to a parent with a boo-boo on their skinned knees for I know He heals me. I tell Him my sins, ask for forgiveness, and ask Him to reveal the things stored up in my heart that I need to let go. I ask Him to do a spiritual operation on my heart and remove the yuck in it. I then ask Him to fill it full of His love and goodness so that what comes out of me whether in words or by my actions, is an overflow of what is in my heart -- love and goodness.

Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV Get rid of all bitterness rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. 

Reflections

When our youngest son was in 4th grade, he took piano lessons in a nearby town taught by a sweet, mature young lady in her late teens. She made the lessons fun by having her students earn points for doing different things like practicing and attending lessons. His teacher also told him that at the end of a particular time period, there would be a piano recital where he and all her other students would play in front of an audience.

Joshua faithfully went to the lessons as well as practiced. He saved up all his points for a bigger prize rather than redeeming them for little toys. Eventually, he was able to get an ice cone maker. He was thrilled about that, even though the only one she had was pink! He didn't care because he got a new toy that also made delicious cold treats.

Then the day came for the recital. He had just finished a Little League baseball game, and we had to make a mad dash to the local private college where the event was held. We had to wipe off the sweat from the baseball game on his face and neck with personal wipes and he changed in the car into nice casual pants, a white shirt, and a tie. Nobody knew he had just come off a dusty baseball field. He played well and received a nice certificate from his piano teacher.

Joshua told me afterward that at one point he almost messed up. I asked him how. He explained that the auditorium had a stage light in the ceiling behind him which shown so brightly on the piano that he could see the reflection of his hands. Because of this, at one point he was looking at the reflection of his hands instead of his real hands and almost messed up. Thankfully, he realized what he was doing just in time, snapped out of it, and refocused on his real hands.

One definition online states, "A reflection is just the production of an image by, or as if by a mirror, of the real thing."

I thought about this and wondered how often in life we focus on "reflections" or circumstances and situations that may appear like the real thing instead of the real thing. One example is social media. It's so easy to have "friends" on Facebook. But you know as well as I do that we can have 100 "friends" on it and be relationally starved. I am on Facebook and enjoy keeping up with friends and relatives living in other states and other countries. But in general, seeing people's lives on FB or getting some "likes" is not the same as doing life together and having conversations in person. We may think we are connected socially because we see people's posts and conversations, but we are not. It's just a reflection of connecting in person.

I am thankful for technology because during the Covid pandemic, we were still able to attend church online in real-time. It was good but it wasn't the same. Even as an introvert, I missed conversations with people. I missed hugging friends and asking how their week went. I missed getting together with our life group, looking at God's Word together, sharing life together, and praying for each other. Like I said, even as thankful as I was to still be able to attend church online, the experience just wasn't the same -- just a "reflection", if that.

God knew what He was doing when he said, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another -- and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV) I am not a theologian nor do I claim to know everything about the Bible because I don't, but I do know that God didn't create us to be alone at home but to be with other believers. Why? The verse above says so we can encourage each other toward love and doing good. I'm thankful the online option was available for days when I did not feel well, but I would not want a steady diet of church online personally. 

One of my favorite places in Colorado is the Rocky Mountain National Park with its many trails where some would lead to lakes and waterfalls. Two years ago, our family went there. Besides other trails, we hiked one that took us to Bear Lake. Then from there, we hiked on and came to this lake called Bierstadt Lake.

It was quiet and the water was very still so the reflection was amazingly clear. But even as clear as it was, the reflection had ragged edges. And one little stone tossed in the water would disrupt the reflection because it was just that, a reflection, and not the real thing.

If you have been living life based on "reflections", I would encourage you to seek the real thing. Get together with friends and do life together instead of browsing posts online. Come to church in person rather than watch it on a screen (unless you are sick, of course). Enter into a relationship with God through his Son Jesus rather than follow a pastor and his messages, even as there are some great pastors out there. They only encourage and inspire, and they are faulty human beings just like you and me. But God loves you, is the perfect Father, and wants to have a relationship with you now and for eternity. If you don't know how to do that, feel free to PM me.