His Leaving

Usually, after Thanksgiving and into December, I try hard not to get caught up in the busyness or the materialism of Christmas. Yes, there are gifts I buy for my family, but I try to do that, when possible, during the year as I see things I know they would like or need. Another thing I try to do is focus on the meaning of Christmas and Jesus's birth. Something happened a while back that the Lord used to really help me understand His great love for me, and for humankind.

A few years ago, our youngest son finished college and accepted a job offer over 1,500 miles away. My husband and I were happy that it was a great job with a good company. There was a lot he had to do: pack up things from his room, pack up household items we gave him, find a good place to live, schedule the delivery of his things, etc., etc.

The week of his leaving, I worked from home for a few hours each day so I could help him the rest of the time. Between his coming and going, and going through the things in his room to decide what to take with him, what to throw away, what to give away, there was not much time to feel sad. Then, came the Friday he left.

Like the other days earlier in the week, I logged in to the computer and worked for a few hours from home. After lunch together, he packed up some last-minute things for the suitcase, and went for a run. I realized I had not logged out of my computer so I sat back down in front of it. As I was logging out of applications, databases, and files, the emotions hit me like a ton of bricks! I was overwhelmed with sadness – a different kind of sadness I had never experienced before, different than when we dropped off our oldest at college the first time when I cried all the way home.

I just sat there and cried. It was one of those gut-wrenching crying sessions. I cried out to the Lord, “Jesus, help me. I can’t handle this feeling! I don’t know what to do with it.” It was then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me by way of a thought – a quiet but strong thought that I knew without a doubt was not my own thought, particularly at a time when my emotions were so overwhelming that I couldn't think straight.

He said, “Your son has a lot of great things to prepare for, to look forward to at his destination: a good job, a new apartment, a new city to explore. When I sent my Son to Earth, He prepared to die.” This thought, this impression on my fragile soul at the time from the Holy Spirit immediately stopped my sobbing and my tears. It was as if someone just turned off the gushing flow of my tears. And He immediately calmed my soul and filled me with peace.

Through this thought, this impression, the Lord let me know that He understood what I was going through because His Son also left His home in Heaven to go somewhere. He helped me realize through this experience, the magnitude of the reason Jesus came to Earth: Because of His great love for us, He came to die for our sins. He didn’t have all the wonderful things to look forward to like our son did. He had death to look forward to. Yet, because of this, we can have a purposeful life while here on Earth to share His love and hope with others, and look forward to spending eternity with Him. 

While earlier on I was overwhelmed with sadness, after this experience with hearing from God through His Holy Spirit, I became overwhelmed with thankfulness for what Jesus had done. It was no small event for Him to leave His Father, His home (and all the perfection, beauty, and glory that my limited mind could imagine heaven being) to come to Earth to die for everyone’s sins, including mine. If I was feeling so sad, I could not imagine how God the Father felt when His Son left. I. Could not. Imagine. Period!

This Christmas season, no matter what you are going through, may your days be calm, and your spirit be filled with peace. It is my prayer that you truly know the Lord personally and truly know how much He loves you. If you have never experienced the hope and joy of being in a personal relationship with Jesus, please private message me. I would love more than anything to chat with you. And here's a gift to ponder on: John 3:16 NIV For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Back on the Path

Our family loves outdoor activities, and one of those is hiking. We've hiked locally and we've hiked out west at 9,000 ft. above sea level. Recently, we hiked a local trail where it ends or joins up with the Appalachian Trail. If you are not familiar with it, the AT is the trail spanning over 10+ states with endpoints in Maine and Georgia. The beauty of creation at the top of some of these trails or at stopping points along the way is just breathtaking! And if you are at high altitude out west, it literally takes your breath away since it's harder to breathe at high elevation - haha :)

As autumn is in full swing, on the recent hike, we saw lots of pretty red and yellow leaves. There were also a lot of big rocks, not boulder size, but about the size of very large pumpkins with beautiful white sparkly granite streaks in some of them. I was looking down so much enjoying the leaves and the rocks that I got off the path several times. I had to look up and look ahead to where the trail was outlined to get back on the right path. My husband also had to guide me back onto the path a few times because Yours Truly was so distracted by the beauty all around!

In our path of life, we sometimes get distracted from our goals. We can be distracted with good things or not-so-positive things that are right in front of us right now that we forget to look up and look ahead to refocus on the path and the goal. So we unintentionally stray off course. What are some life goals and how do we get distracted? More importantly, how do we get back on track?

If you are a student, one of your goals is likely to finish school. Why should you finish school? You should finish so that you can get a good job, be a productive citizen to support yourself and maybe help others who might be in need. A distraction could be a romantic relationship, but don't let that distract you into thinking you should get married and finish school later. Sometimes that works but other times life gets busy after you are married, and it doesn't happen. Another distraction could be a great job offer before you finish school. You might be tempted to think that if you have a great-paying job you don't need a degree. But many companies put a premium on degrees when considering promotions. Without one, you might get passed over for promotions. This happened to a friend of mine.

Yet, a life event you have no control over could throw you off course. A little over 10 years ago, I was in a Master's program at a local university. I was in the middle of my last course when my daddy passed away. He had lived a long and healthy life and was on the eve of turning 90 when it happened. Still, it totally rocked my world and I just wanted to quit school. I was so devastated that I didn't want to do anything. A very good friend and colleague helped guide me back on track. She asked me a simple question, "Susan, what would your dad want you to do?" Of course, the answer was that he would want me to finish. So I did.

A couple of years ago, a younger friend of mine quit her job after having a baby to be a stay-at-home mom. It was her goal long before she was married. She wanted to be there for baby's first smile, first crawl, first words - ALL the "firsts." She told me it was hard work but she thoroughly enjoyed it. However, some months into it, she told me that all her friends were going back to work and she wondered if she should be and if she was missing out on something. She started looking for work, but was struggling with scheduling for interviews and conflicting feelings. I asked her if her goal was still to be home to see all the changes with her baby. She said, "Yes." So she did.

If you love mentoring or encouraging people, don't let the current pandemic with Covid-19 stop you. You could always get together with people outside, over the phone, or via video meetings. There are ways to stay safe if you want to stay on course of what you feel God has called you to do. A lot of people need encouragement especially during times like these. I would encourage you to stay on course and use your gift.

Don't have goals or wonder if you are on the right path? I encourage you to pray and seek the Lord. God is the Giver of life and He has a plan for you. Two verses come to mind: Jeremiah 29:11 NLT "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Psalms 16:11 NASB "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is the fullness of joy; in Your right hand, there are pleasures forever."

Like a hike, a goal to look forward to is a good thing. If we stray from the course God has put us on, we can seek Him to help us get back on track. If the path seems too arduous, just start by taking one step forward - just one - toward the goal. And pray. God will help you take another, and another, and another.

Behind the Scenes

I enjoy good movies, especially chick flicks, haha. Who doesn’t right? OK – most men don’t care too much about chick flicks, rather, they enjoy movies where a lot of things blow up. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a good storyline, great acting, and special effects. I am not in the movie-making business, but I do know that there are so many things that happen behind the scenes that we don’t usually think about, but without them, a movie wouldn’t be that great. Even simple things like the angle of the camera, the lighting, the wind blowing at just the right time, or background noise like birds chirping, etc. make all the difference. And it doesn’t matter if the scene is a happy scene or a sad scene; there is still behind-the-scene work that makes those particular moments stand out or memorable. I think about life and how there are also things happening behind the scenes that a lot of times we don’t realize.

 

There was an ordinary event in my life which happened recently that, at the time, I thought was just another ordinary occurrence. However, something happened which I recognized afterward was behind-the-scenes stuff I was unaware of.

 

One weekend last month, my husband and I had planned a trip to a national park to hike. We saw great pictures online, read great reviews, and the clincher was that it was in an article on national parks to visit in the Costco Connection magazine. We were going to stop at a couple of unique places along the way for a little bit of sightseeing, also. A few days before the trip, I started not feeling well. It wasn’t major and I didn’t run a fever or anything, but just feeling lousy overall. So, I thought I would get over it quickly – no big deal. Well, the day before the trip, I still was feeling unwell. We decided to cancel hotel reservations and the trip. Little did I know there was behind-the-scenes stuff going on…

 

That Saturday which would have been the full day of hiking, I was on a special-interest online forum for people with a respiratory condition of which I was a member. I started out sharing a picture I took of a beautiful lake and just random things about the beautiful day. (People sometimes do that as a way to just talk about good things in life to take the focus off of talking about respiratory things.) But then, it was not my original intent and without realizing it, I found myself writing more and more encouraging people to keep up with exercising, to take their meds, and to do all these other things necessary to manage the respiratory condition. I also mentioned how the Lord God has held me through some very tough times with my condition, and I encouraged people to pray. I expressed an open invitation for people to PM (private message) me if they needed prayers.

 

I didn’t think anything of it and didn’t even review the post for autofill errors. Little did I know… My phone blew up with comments. Some people said they had lost all hope, wanted to give up (trying to take care of their condition), and thanked me for helping them to keep going again. Others appreciated the encouragement because they were discouraged. Some people asked for prayers.

 

The unwell feeling turned out to be nothing and cleared. It wasn’t until a few days later that it dawned on me the Lord was working behind the scenes. You see, if I had been on our trip, I would have been out hiking or sightseeing rather than posting in the forum. He saw the greater need for those people in the forum to be encouraged than for us to be hiking (which we had done plenty of by that time). It was He who used my little fingers to write more than just the words about the beautiful park.

 

If you’ve ever read about the success of certain movies with amazing special effects, you would recognize the name Steven Spielberg who is quite famous for behind the scenes work on special effects. Here, I want to highlight and give credit to my Lord, my God, my Savior Jesus who (looking back on my life) has been working behind the scenes in my life long before I came into a personal relationship with Him in my early 20’s.

 

My life is just as ordinary as yours. Or, perhaps you have a more exciting life than mine! 😉  Nevertheless, don’t underestimate what God could be doing in your life, even in times of struggle, but look for how He is working in and through your life for His praise and for the benefit of others. I know without a doubt, He was at work in my life that weekend in August when I felt unwell. If my life was a movie, in sad “scenes” or happy times of my life, I want to give credit to Him who is the Author and Perfector of my life and my faith. Would love to hear about His work in your life.

Erase and Replace

Many years ago, I made a career switch from business to teaching. I switched so that I could have the same schedule as my kids since I did not want them home alone in the summertime. Once they were in college, I switched back to the business environment, but I retained a strategy that I developed during my years of teaching which helps me in one particular area of my life.

 

I was a specialty teacher and had taught various elementary grades, but mainly second- and third-graders. Since I was a specialty teacher, my focus was primarily on math and reading/writing remediation. My students and I did a lot of writing revisions. The process involved having students read what they wrote, re-read, and make corrections. When discussing suggestions for change, many students immediately went about making the corrections. Others, however, just sat there and looked at me. I had to tell them to erase the old word (or sentence), and replace it with the correct one. Thus, I started using the phrase "erase and replace" repeatedly whenever I got the deer-in-the-headlights look from students.

 

What I frequently told my students about erase and replace, I incorporated into my personal life. Yes, I do that when I write, :) but I'm not talking about writing here. What I am referring to is my thought process.

 

I don't know about you, but at times, I struggle with negative thoughts. They come at times when I least expect them – times when I’m in the middle of doing mundane things around the house like cooking or laundry. These unwelcomed thoughts invade my mind. They always feel like a dark cloud over me and make me feel tense. Then, this negativity about people or situations tends to take me in a downward spiral where bad thoughts pile on to more bad thoughts. The end result is I feel worse and worse. To combat this, I devised a plan.

 

It involves implementing what I told students in the classroom – erase and replace – except this has to do with negative thoughts. Philippians 4:8 says, "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable. If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." When a negative thought comes into my mind, I erase it and replace it with a positive one finding something positive about the person or situation.

 

If for some reason I cannot think of anything positive, which rarely ever happens, I think of each adjective described in Phil 4:8: true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. Beginning with the first on this list, I think of something that is true such as it's true the sun always rises and always sets. Another thing that's true is God loves me. Next, another word on the list – lovely. What is lovely? Flowers are lovely, and I visualize or look at the beautiful flowers in my garden. I do this for each word. By the time I'm finished with the list of things to think about in this verse, my negative thoughts are gone.

Even the most positive person on Earth struggles with this every once in a while if we are honest with ourselves. Nevertheless, we do not have to be controlled or consumed by it. We combat it with Truth, and the verse above is God's Truth. Whenever Truth is presented, darkness flees.

I am not advocating sweeping things under the rug by erasing and replacing. If there have been hurts or misunderstandings in interpersonal relationships that cause negative thoughts or feelings, we need to do more. We need to figure out the underlying unresolved problems. In cases like this, another thing I do is pray, pray, and pray some more about an opportunity to talk to the person to get it resolved. I also realize some people are not as approachable as others. The best we can do is try. If the person is not open to it, we need to realize that reconciliation may not be possible. This is when forgiveness comes in. It's not easy, but it gives us peace in our minds and hearts. And God is faithful. When we pray for the ability to forgive, He helps us to do just that.